November 24, 2020

Adoption isn’t always an option

Telling someone they should have an unwanted child, just for the sake of putting it up for adoption is a horrible and selfish stance to take. Speaking from my own adoption experience, it is an extremely offensive agenda.

By now we all know that abortion has been a hot topic. We hear the alternatives, such as ‘adoption is an option!’ That’s an easy narrative to push, considering most people have no idea the implications adoptions can have. For me personally, when I hear that phrase, I get infuriated. Telling someone they should have an unwanted child, just for the sake of putting it up for adoption is a horrible and selfish stance to take. Speaking from my own adoption experience, it is an extremely offensive agenda. Let’s be honest, the majority of the people who push this narrative will never feel these implications, nor will they do enough to make having an unwanted child a viable option. Not only that, but there are many examples of these very people exercising their right to choose. Then advocate that there are enough social programs for those who have the misfortune of being stricken with poverty, when, let’s face it, there isn’t.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given but I know that had my birth mother felt no other choice, I would have wanted her to make the decision she felt she needed to. Being from Vietnam, my birth mother was living in extreme poverty. Had I not been given up for adoption, I would have likely had no choice but to work illegitimately, probably as a prostitute. I was lucky to evade this fate but I know I was extremely lucky. Nobody should be forced to have a child who would live that life, or any other of poverty.

Being pro-choice is a simple concept. There are many reasons women may choose to have an abortion. For one, there are hundreds of thousands of foster children in the system right now. I was lucky to have been adopted but I know that it is really hard for children to go through the foster system, especially in some of their most formative years. It is always interesting to me how so many people believe adoption is the saving grace as an alternative to abortion.  However, it is actually hurting almost all the parties involved.

I, for one, will say adoption is one of the most beautiful things mankind has created. I was chosen and brought into a family that I can call my own. I will love as my own forever. But it is not my, or anyone else’s decision, to mandate that women are forced to choose that. I am pro-choice because I believe every woman should have the choice to do what is right for them. A private medical decision between a woman and herself is hers alone. It is not a political talking point; it is not a decision on the ballot. Her body, her choice. My body, my choice.

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