Dating and intimacy should be fun, as long as both parties have permission, according to Mike Domitrz, author of “May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness.” He believes that neither party should rely on body language to get through a romantic evening.
On Tuesday Sept. 20 at the Winifred Moore Auditorium, Mike Domitrz came to Webster to unravel the dating scene. He was to teach stu
dents about communication and send a message about sexual assault awareness.
“Intimacy should not feel like a contract, it should be fun,” Domitrz said.
Domitrz depicted a party scene as an example. The music is loud and everyone is having a good time. He spoke about
the look someone might give to a person they like and a volunteer hopped on stage to demonstrate the look by placing their hand on their chin and staring at the audience with a smirk. Anybody who’s somebody is at the party, but suddenly someone is feeding one too many drinks to their crush at the party, Domitrz said.
“It’s because they can’t get them while they’re sober,” Domitrz said.
Domitrz gave the audience examples and situations that would require their participation and thinking skills. He even had the audience stand up to answer if their partner ever asked permission to take things further.
“See, you’re not alone,” Domitrz said to the crowd.
Domitrz shared an experience of his life regarding sexual assault. Domitrz’s mother called to inform him that his older sister was raped and she wanted to speak to him. He was amazed that she began to console him once he got on the phone.
Domitrz spoke to the audience about opening the door to parents, friends or loved ones by calling and letting people know they will stand by their side no matter what happens to them. He also led the presentation towards intimacy. He asked the basic question of “May I kiss you?.” Domitrz stated people won’t ask the question because it ruins spontaneity, they want to appear confident or are afraid of rejection.
He asked two volunteers to join the stage where a young woman rejected the young man’s advances for a kiss. His response was that he was glad he asked because he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.
Colette Cummings, associate Dean of students, felt people who did not attend missed out on a good presentation.
“I think it was all wonderful,” Cummings said. “He was informative, engaging and gave out a lot of prizes.”
Domitrz supports the counselor here on campus, Gladys Smith, as well as the local crisis centers in the area. Attendees could purchase two different t-shirts and books. One t-shirt in two different colors had ‘May I Kiss You?’ on the front. The other long sleeve shirt had ‘Want Some Action?’ in black. A portion of the proceeds go to local crisis centers.
Domitrz was brought here through a conference Smith attended. She found his information in a listing and thought he would be a great addition to Webster.
“He gave the audience a ‘how-to’ instead of a simple lecture,” Smith said.
Domitrz left the audience with a promise of prizes if they signed up for a drawing at the end of his tour. People have the potential to win an iPad, three videos of his work and two books. He enjoys the tours and going to different universities around the world.
“I do it for the results,” Domitrz said. “Hearing from students and how this has helped them is great.”