When I was diagnosed with chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs many years ago, I really didn’t know how to take it. I even went through the seven stages of grief, just to try and cope with the fact that I was not the same individual I was before I left for the military.
I joined the U.S. Army when I was 21 and lived outside of Fort Benning, Georgia (now called Fort Moore). The job opportunities were rather poor since it was mainly fast food or restaurant work, one or two not-great city colleges and a few corporations that required degrees.
Long story short, I went to one-unit station training in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, and was assigned my duty station at Camp Carroll in South Korea. I wanted to get as far away from the state of Georgia as possible.
A year later, my unit came up on orders for Baghdad, where I suspect much of the trauma contributing to my post-traumatic stress came from. After 17 months, I left Baghdad, I ended up in Schofield Barracks, Hawaii. From there, I got out and eventually returned back home to Fort Moore. On my father’s suggestion, I scheduled an appointment with Veterans Affairs. That was the beginning of the end. I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what it was at the time.
I was trying to get on with my life and get my act together while in a ward. One of the social workers came in and handed me a picture of a koi fish and some colored pencils. They asked me to just color and focus on the pencil movements and my breathing. Nothing else in the room mattered but the repetitive strokes of that pencil touching paper and the piece I was coloring.
That was my official introduction to art therapy which, apparently, I’ve been practicing for years – 29, for the curious-minded. I’ve been painting miniatures poorly since I was 13 for games like Dungeons and Dragons and Warhammer Fantasy. I doodle, mostly with pen, ink and paper. These include, but are not limited to, abstract shapes, weird caricatures of made-up characters, a lot of 3D shapes for points of references and, sometimes, popular characters from video games.
I’ve even started to consider photography a form of art therapy for me now, since it is my perspective and usually follows my view of nature. I like to be alone with my thoughts, hearing the wind blow, maybe joined by bullfrogs calling and crickets chirping. Even the dreadful cicadas are peaceful in their own right with the ambience they provide. Sometimes, being alone with our thoughts in nature grounds us, helping to clear the mind and refocus on what’s important – and to just get away from the noise of work, school, family, home life, even a significant other … to just exist, while being in the moment.
The fun fact about art therapy is it doesn’t matter whether you have any artistic skills to improve how you are feeling mentally. Sure, you’ll get better at practicing any skill if you do it enough, but it’s about doing something to make you happy, to make yourself feel better.
I’m not saying this particular type of therapy is the be-all and end-all – far from it. However, I feel it does work well in conjunction with other forms of therapy and support, and makes your “tool kit” for dealing with adversity that much stronger.
One of the best things about this type of therapy is you can just draw a circle and no one will be the wiser. It’s just a circle drawn with a pen or pencil on paper – simple shapes – and bonus points for a good drink and good music to accomplish the task at hand. For me, music and drink vary. My go-to is coffee with a splash of milk, barring that hot chai with milk and sugar. When it comes to music, soft, ambient piano works wonders, especially if the drums are done with brushes.
While drawing, painting, coloring and photography are part of my tools for de-stressing and regaining some semblance of normalcy, I understand if those things aren’t your jam. Try collages, pottery or whatever sings to you to give you that time and space to reflect. This is about you and finding a way to gain some peace of mind.
I am by no means a mental health expert, I’m just a guy who found what worked for him. And if this helps or inspires others, then I feel I made a difference.
There are three things I personally believe people with mental health problems should remember: One, you are not your diagnosis; this is just part of you and it will prove challenging, but you can get through it. Two, you are still a good person, even if the intrusive thoughts say otherwise. And three, those who really care will understand and will be there if you need them to lean on or just need a friendly ear.
A little compassion always goes a long way, so be kind to yourself and others. It took many years of crying, frustration, self realization and doubt – figuring out who I was, who I wanted to be and what I wanted to accomplish.
Art therapy allows self-expression – privately – if you’re not keen on talking in groups or talking to therapists. Sometimes, it’s about recognizing a problem you can avoid without letting it consume you. Some days are worse than others, but as long as you keep trying, it gets easier and there is nothing that cannot be overcome.
My journey with art therapy has taught me all that: to be a better person, a better husband, a better son, a better human and just to be.
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